Tell me something sad or hurt my feelings and I’ll probably cry. Or at least I’ll try not to cry. And if I don’t cry then, it will come out sooner or later.
Im not always proud of it, it can be really inconvenient depending where I am and who I am talking to.
In my head it usually goes something like this: “Oh no, tears… no … now is REALLY not a good time to...just hold it in…you can cry when you get home… oh no.. … and the tears are out.
It seems that there is little space in the fast world for sensitivity and feelings. Show emotion and insecurity in a business meeting, for example, and you are considered weak. When making a life decision, logic holds more value and makes more sense than a gut or nagging feeling.
Feelings sometimes have a life of their own. Due to busy lifestyles, we often don’t make time for them and push them away. We think this is good – we choose to handle the intensities of life with our logical minds instead.
There are times when the logical mind is needed, but there are times where it needs to step back.
Emotions are a form of intelligence. They are actually a much better and more reliable guide to what we truly want for ourselves than our thoughts. Sometimes, however, the space between what we are feeling and what we thinkis best for us begin to conflict.
Emotions offer us clear signals when we listen to them. Feel excited when you hear about something usually is saying “Come this way”. Feeling drained after meeting with a friend may a sign for alone time.
When we cut ourselves from the intensity of what happens inside, we are cutting ourselves off the same signal that guides us towards happiness.
When this happens, our minds try to solve the problem. Not happy? Buy something. Not happy? Eat. Not happy? Get drunk. These solutions are often superficial and short lived.
Emotions guide us deeper to the truth of it all. Not happy? Sit with it. Feel it. Breathe. Sounds easy, but also scary. And thats why many of us would rather eat or shop instead.
When emotions become stuck inside we are cutting ourselves off of all forms of emotion. Including true, real happiness. The one we want to feel most.
In this case, I really believe that you can’t have the ‘good’ without the ‘bad’. The trick is seeing that there is no bad. No feeling is bad. Some may feel like shit, but they are not bad. They just are.
And the real growth comes from sitting with those uncomfortable feelings to let them pass through.
They just need to visit us, inform us, pass through, and move on. But when we stop that by breathing lighter, stuffing them down, or staying inside our head, they become like a heavy, hardened rock inside. And who wants a heavy, hardened rock stuck inside yourself?
Jealousy, for example is one of those feelings that we may think is 'bad'. But jealousy is a sign that there is something in what you are seeing that you also want for yourself. That’s it. Its not that you have to hate them for what they have. It’s just that there is something inside you that also wants that experience. Its a very simple cue from your self to you.
Open up to all feelings. When we fully experience the quality they are offering, we realize that they are never bad. This is our inner guidance bringing you closer to ourselves and our health. Trust them, they may have a better understanding of what is best for ourselves on all levels.