Hello again. It has been a while since I have written. For many reasons. The main one being that a tiny little girl has come into my life and I felt that it was time to step back from writing. I knew change was coming in many ways and that a retreat from blogging would be a good thing.
Having our daughter come into my life has connected me back to who I am and what is important to me. She has enriched my life far more than I ever expected.
This experience has also clarified to me how I want to show up. In life. In my work. In my relationships. With my thoughts. With time.
What is becoming clear is that I am committing to showing up from inside out. I am letting my inner guidance lead the way so I can show up incredibly authentic and true.
I want to be real. Even more real than before. I wanna be dirt real.
It is much easier to take the classic 'just follow the norm' route, riding bumper to bumper with everyone else than it is to show up raw and real. Raw and real is the hard route...scenic, windy, full of hills and valleys. Thunderstorms and tornadoes. Monsoons. That's the dirt real route.
It is time to be fully me - not just when I am in the safety and cozy comfort of my home, but everywhere I go.
I believe that when we travel to those unknown and sometimes scary places, we are also able to fully revel in those breathtaking moments. So yes it can be ugly but it is the one that to me feels most free.
This route has no map. It is not led by those who have gone before. It is me in tall grass, creating my own path. My feelings are my compass. I'm not even going to get all sassy about this and use a machete to hack my way. This is a barefooted exploration, using my hands to separate the grass as I carefully trod my way over each stone.
I am listening for the actions, words, feelings, thoughts that are with integrity. The ones that radiate that grounded, real, this-is-who-I-am vibe. I'm gonna follow that.
Like any journey, there will be trips and falls, maybe a couple of broken bones and many confusing moments. But with time (maybe a lifetime), there will be clarity in my voice, depth in my heart and an unwavering sense of knowing.
That means I might write again tomorrow. I might write again next week. I might never write again. But this is my intention. To be so TRUE. For all my work to come from inside out. To navigate through the murky I don't knows so I can stand so tall in the I KNOW THIS FOR SURE!!